i permit you to call me
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
