Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
