I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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