i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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