Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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