Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
