yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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