we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
