he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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