Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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