So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
