someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
