I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i've created a new STD.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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