haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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