two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
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