Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
