I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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