you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
