I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
