apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
