I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
