like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
