Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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