I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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