Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
