found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
