Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
