Your dad touched me again.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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