My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
