He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
