We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
