D3 body, D1 cock
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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