i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
there was a trapeze. enough said
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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