Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So much rum. So many feels.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
