your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
