Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
