The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize