He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
