Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
