Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
she looked like the before picture.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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