it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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