the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Barsexuality is the new black.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
