if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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