it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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