first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
