you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
