can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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