He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize