i barfeds in our rink
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i came on her dog
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
