Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
