belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
