There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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