For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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