Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
