if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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