I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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