She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
