i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
