This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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