It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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