20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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