I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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