I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize