that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
