and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
