you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
