Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
