i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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