it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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