Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
