Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Randomize