Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
