found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
