i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
