the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Life is so much better after having sex.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
