i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
