It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize